Comic Book Store Clerk> Able to poop out money> Gives comics to children for free and orders more indie books
Santa Claus
Santa>Teleportation>Nuff Said.
Your Favorite Musician
Immortal youth > Lou Reed > More young happy VU albums or as happy as the VU ever were, alternately David Bowie
The cashier at the grocery store that you like who that bags faster than the other ones but whom also inexplicably has a longer line no matter what.
Cashier+Superspeed=duh.
A DJ you can tolerate.
Evan Funk Davies>teleportation>no more forgetting that one record you wanted to play and having to settle for something you have with you.
Your high school principal
Your High School Principal > Super Driving Prowess > He loved NASCAR and then he could drive around in circles all day while we would get away with whatever we wanted.
Pope John Paul II
Pope > son of Satan > ...actually I want to see Son of Satan from Marvel becoming the Pope.
Curt Franklin